When I was in gradeschool, they we had the dumbest lunch-lady in existence, I swear. She was incredibly fat, she let the food go bad before pitching it out, she was always cussing the children out and letting her lice-ridden hair fall into our meals. I once pointed the hairs in my spaghetti out to her and she said "THAT'S NOT HAIR, THAT'S JUST THE PLASTIC FORK SHEDDING!" I'm dead serious. As if a plastic fork shedding were much better than hair. MMMM PLASTIC!!! Anyway, she was a bit of a klutz too and she ate most of the food before serving it to us. It was not uncommon to order a sandwich and find it have eaten before she gave it to you. Anyway, I thought it would be funny to toss a banana peel in her way when she was walking down the cafeteria. Her enormous blubber prevented her from seeing it and sure enough she stepped on it and skidded towards a bunch of horrified students who screamed. She crashed into the table and her enormous momentum squeezed the kids against the table's edge until they tore in half. But her enormous blubber pinned their bodies against the table and squeezed them even further. Have you ever squeezed a toothpaste tube from the bottom up? Well this is what happened with the kids, only their heads were the caps. The popped off sailed across the cafeteria and landed in peoples' food face up. One teacher had Jimmy's head land in her bowl, his eyes popped out into her drink. Meanwhile, the kids who were sitting next to the table that got attacked by the human whale got so horrified and sick that they vomited all over the floor. At the same time, all the other students were panicking because of the screams and in their rush to head towards the exits, they slipped on the vomit and banana peels. Vomit has a strange tendency to cause other people to vomit. This is what began to happen, a chain reaction of students vomiting all over the cafeteria floor. Now at this time, the cafeteria lady had no idea the students were dead, her diameter did not allow her to see the carnage underneath her hippo stomach. What she did see, however, were all the abandoned trays of students food, and she became hungry. She began to eat all the student's lunches until she bit into an eyeball that had landed in somebody's salad, mistaking it for a tomato. She threw up and ran out the wall, screaming. Yes, the wall, not the door. She crashed right through it and into the street where she ran over a car and ate it. Tl;dr- go back up and read it you lazy ass. So, have you known any stupid lunch ladies?