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Edited by Felicia402:
7/21/2013 5:15:11 PM
280
Criticizing and making inappropriate comments on female member's appearances
Now before I begin, I know exactly what I'm getting myself into here. I'm prepared for the flaming and the insults, but I'm going to put on my brave face here, and finally say something which I believe has been on a lot of other member's minds, but nobody wants to speak up in fear of being ridiculed. Inappropriate
I've noticed some people, if not a lot of people, on these forums somehow think criticizing, comparing, and making rather disgusting comments on a females appearance is okay. Now, I'm not sure what you guys talk about privately or around your "buds" in real life (I mean, I've discussed other people's appearances before to friends in a mature manner) however do you guys do so around the actual girls you're discussing? I'm assuming not, but if you do, seriously, learn better manners.
I know we all like to sit around and post images of models and actresses then critic their looks. It's all in good fun, I acknowledge that and that's fine, but when you're doing so to girls that are SEEING your comments and you're well AWARE they're seeing your comments, what makes you think that's okay? What makes you think because these females post pictures of themselves, that you have the right to say you find them unattractive or compare them to one another? This is NOT okay behavior, and it doesn't matter how much you try to justify it, [b]it never will be okay.[/b] If you went up to a girl in public and said "Meh. 5/10. Seen better", you'd be considered an asshole. If you went up to two girls in public and said one was better looking than the other, you're an asshole. Comment on a girl's picture on Facebook saying "You got a good body, your face on the other had...", you'd be considered an asshole. Just because you're anonymous and because these random females post pictures of themselves online, doesn't make you any less of an asshole. Sorry to inform you.
Now before you all just start slurring comments such as;
>"Well don't post pictures of yourself if you care so much!!!", (which still don't justify such horrible behavior) I don't care. I'm content with my appearance, and if I wasn't, no I wouldn't have had posted pictures of myself. It is all in good fun, and shouldn't be no different than a male member posting a picture. [b]Looks are irrelevant on a internet forum.[/b]
>"Don't be so insecure!" I can ensure you, I'm not. If I was I would have NEVER made a thread like this. I'm prepared for a ton of insults coming my way for simply making this thread.
>"It's an opinion! Deal with it! I can say what I want online." Sometimes it's best to keep opinions to yourself. We all can be judgmental, and I'm definitely no angel myself, but I don't be going up to be people saying negative comments about things they cannot change. That would make me a [b]mean person.[/b] It doesn't matter if you're online or in person, this is still [b]mean.[/b]
>"Like if someone posts art online, I'll tell them how I truly feel so they can improve!" Unlike art, you can't change your appearance, and seriously nobody say plastic surgery.
This thread was made out of curiosity, and curiosity alone. I just want to know why you guys think this behavior is okay. I was going to keep this thread within TFS, but I don't think my main target members will be able to see it. I may regret doing so, but come on guys, for once show everyone we're not such a god awful shit-tier forum. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!
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Ive seen similar threads for rating guys and we aren't saying anything about it.
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I saw that earlier post on the comparison of yourself and the two other ladies and felt a general disgust at the treatment all three of you received. Earlier this year I simply tried to get a female perspective on Destiny and this sort of double standard sprang up in the thread of girls deserve no special treatment over the other mindset of singling out females and attacking with underlying tones of hate made me tank the thread. Not all men hate women which can be daunting to prove on a gaming forum. For every cruel comment there are other members here that still hold to a gentleman's regards to how to treat with the fairer sex without underlying intentions. Cam, yourself, and Jay are unfortunately the subjects of adolescents and their inability to discern the reality of hurting other humans and can see no farther than their own baseless self existence.
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I've been waiting for this thread for awhile now (more on that at the end). A lot people have been sick of this for awhile. I know I was about ready to pack up and go when that thread making fun of Shadow's appearance got 200+ posts and even went white-shield for awhile (then again, I remember [i]you[/i] telling her she wasn't really a girl [though not because of appearance], so maybe you don't care about that). The problem we have is that this is an online forum with a disproportionate level of ineffective males who, many for no fault of their own, grew up with pretty warped views of women. I'm pretty sure I've never done what you're talking about in the OP (to females anyways; I can't help myself when it comes to studs like Capiton and Weeded Dragon), but I've certainly pushed the bounds of political correctness when discussing things like feminism. To stuff like that I'd say "don't go online if you don't want to see different opinions," but I don't think that's what this thread is about anyways. This thread is about specific, targeted, harassment, which is a problem here. Truth be told, this thread is probably the best thing you could possibly do to enact change. I don't respect the argument some have given that "we can't fight this because we'll be called white knights" (seriously, anyone who cares about being called that probably is that), but ultimately we can't speak for you, and you probably don't want us to. The most effective way to establish this change would be to establish a culture in which we as Floodians called people out when they harassed people. If you never express that you dislike the harassment though, we pretty much [i]are[/i] speaking for you. I'm pretty sure there are a good number of people willing to support you in this, but you need to give their voice direction.
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I completely agree with you Felicia.
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Edited by Erkyo: 7/18/2013 2:40:25 AMAs much as I've tried to stay away from the Flood forum since my perma-ban has been lifted recently (thanks to Bungie.next) I keep strolling through here. Three years too long I must say. Btw it's not a good idea to say how much a Bungie employee enjoys being anal trusted by another Bungie employee in a gorilla suit wearing a cowboy hat, while using the safe word of another Bungie employee. Lesson learned I assure you! (Stupid Sh-Blam!KA) LOL Those were the days. Anywho... Durring my recent strolls through the park I've have noticed a lot perverted crap going on around regarding members as yourself being what I considered harassed just because mainly you are the female gender. And whether or not you post pictures of yourself or not, is not a reason why you should sub come to harsh words of other members. Just isn't right in my book. And just because this is a game forum on a website doesn't mean it's okay to do so. The problem with the youth of today is a loss of morals. Utmost knowing how to respect one another via in person or on the internet esspecially with the way boys treat women. I say boys because no man that I know would use such vulgar language when talking to any lady young or old. When I'm at work us gentlemen say our vulgar jokes ( no matter what the tpic may be) to our selves, and if another female co worker walks in we stop until she leaves. It's just a matter of respect. Call me Old school ( please do btw), but that's how it should be. Women already have enough pressure as it is from the media such as TV movies magazines, porn, and what have ya, to obtain a certain look. Degrading them only make today's women feel more self conscious and detached from themselves and we as men wonder why there isn't a woman worth having or why they "act like sluts" and it's because we make them that way. All in all if we want to change anything it starts here! If we can't treat someone over the freaking internet forum with respect then when the hell are you boys going to drop your balls and become men to do it face to face with a woman in real life? This should be practice for you on how to treat a woman with dignity, not with disgrace! EDIT: So to answer your question OP, NO I don't agree it's okay to do so.
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I have been seeing this a lot as well, it i getting ridiculous, nobody ever speaks up about it, so it slowly gets worse over time. I would never post a picture of myself because of the kinds of things I see on this site.
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I'll TL;DR this for everyone. Play nice, don't be a jerk.
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Those threads disgust me because of how they seem to degenerate the female community into nothing but an object. Also, it's incredibly creepy.
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3 RepliesIf u want to stop guys on the Internet from saying inappropriate things about you, don't post pictures. Simple as that. Why do girls or guys post pics of their faces/bodies in the first place? Because they want to impress people. If a guy posts a picture of his six-pack ( if he has one ) than He's probably doing it to attract ladies.
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2 RepliesYou should reply to Foman's latest response.
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2 RepliesEdited by Wolvers: 7/18/2013 3:37:15 PMFelicia pls. Your eyes are too far apart. Nose is definitely crooked. The shape of your face is not aesthetically pleasing at all. You look like a 3/10 with make up in your photos. I don't even want to imagine what you look like without make up. I actually just threw up in my mouth, just thinking about it. Your head is too big (although that may be, because of your giraffe neck posture). As for your hair, lol. Seriously, do something. You look like a horse. Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds, and you will see how ugly you are. The eyes which are too far apart is what ruins/damages an already ugly face even further. Unfortunately for you, that can't be surgically fixed, lol. You arms are way too long. lol at how they hang by your sides. Kind of reminds me of lurch. As for your tits, we all know there is extra padding there. Don't even let me start on your pale complexion. It only works if you look hot. Unfortunately, you do not look hot. Its hard to sum up a creature like you in one word. 'UGLY' would be unfair, since it doesn't reflect how repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it. But somewhere in between, is where you would be, on the scale of an average man. I'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh. Just so you know, I sugar coated this post as much as possible. Have a nice day.
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4 RepliesHi. I'm Dr TimothyLeary, and I support this message. White Knight, signing off.
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2 RepliesAt this point you've probably muted me, but oh well I'm going to bump what I said earlier. You're assuming these people who make these comments wouldn't do it in real life. Thing is they would, but the consequenes of these actions are what's stopping them. They won't go up to a girl and just go "3/10" in fear of the retaliation what will come of that. But that's why they do it on here. Because there are no consequences, because we're all anonymous. Without the power of deterrence people do some wacky shit. Hell, alot of people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them.
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3 RepliesHoly shit, build a -blam!-ing bridge and get over it. All you do, [b]ALL[/b] you do is whinge and whine about shit like this. Here's the thing, if YOU don't like it, DONT use it. If you don't like what is being said on this site or the internet, leave. Don't use it if it pains you so much to use it. If you cant handle it, don't stay on here and whinge. You're not going to be able to change it, so deal with it or even a better idea, use the features that are in place on the to block the people you don't like. Simple -blam!-ing solution there. For god sake, stop making threads on how you are a girl, we know already from the last hundreds of post and threads you've made on the subject.
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Edited by theUSpopulation: 7/18/2013 3:20:47 PMThe thing is, even though it may look like a lot of guys are making comments like that, I bet the majority of boys don't. It is just hard to understand that because you don't see them [i]not [/i]making a comment; you can only see the ones that do. Does that make sense? As for [i]why [/i]guys do that is for many reasons: -They [i]are [/i]assholes and [u]they feel invincible when their face is hidden on the internet.[/u]* -They are trying to fit in by making comments "everyone else" is making. -They are doing it "ironically." -They [i]think [/i]the girl is being a slut** and they feel as though they are addressing her appropriately. Most of the time they are wrong though. -etc. etc. etc. In the end, you just need to appreciate the many guys who are generous (on the internet and in real life) and try to ignore the few who aren't. They are simply bad people who should not be addressed at all. *[i]The underlined portion can apply to all of the reasons but this one especially. [/i] **[i]There are a very, very few times where girls are acting that way. The girl post pictures for [b]only [/b]guys to look at. Those few times are easy to spot out though. That does not mean they guy has the right to insult them, however, you do not have much reason to defend them. They are practically willingly asking for insults. [/i]
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5 RepliesMeh. 5/10. Seen better.
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10 RepliesBecause of your post, I shall post my first picture of me on this site. I agree wholeheartedly with what you say, though I have to say that I have been critical of people in the past on this forum when posting pics. One person actually, and the reasoning behind it doesn't make up for it, but I will definitely be more considerate in the future. You are a gentlelady and a scholar.
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8 RepliesUnfortunately, I think this may have fallen on deaf ears. I feel like a lot of people say and do these things for the sole reason that they can hide behind their screen names. Unfortunately, this assholery will probably never change. It will continue with sexism, racism, and every other type of prejudice (not to mention pretty much any type of controversial topic). Such is the way of the world (especially the Internet). But I'm sure that by now you're well aware of that. Don't think that every one thinks or acts this way, though. You'll find that a great deal of us are (or at least try to be) courteous and thoughtful when it comes to these issues. I personally try not to even post on those types of threads in the first place. It only legitimizes them. Personally, I'm going to find the people here who I find to be genuinely nice and follow/friend them so that when this forum fills up with even more assholes next year I'll already have a pretty decent amount of likeminded people to play Destiny (and other games) with. At any rate, I apologize that you guys (or girls rather) have to deal with this bullshit. It's not fair in the least, and I hope you have better luck with these things.
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People only act the way they do because they're anonymous. Simple as that. But yeah, I agree with you in everything you said.
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6 RepliesEdited by Banned Man 3000: 7/18/2013 12:05:09 PM▲ ▲▲ Bitches can't triforce
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2 RepliesOver 500 replies... What a joke.
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You tell em' Felicia.
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I agree. Most of the people on this site do as well. Just mute those who do not and move on.
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TL;DR - People are mean on the internet.
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1 Reply<<< Totally agree with the OP, and will go as far as to add that people should treat ALL people with respect. I know that will never happen, but it should be how it works.
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Goes in one ear and comes out the other, unfortunately. You're preaching to the converted.
