originally posted in:The Black Garden
Ladies and gentlemen, behold our finalists. Its been a difficult process and there have been a lot of excellent pieces but not all of us could win this contest, though I deeply wished it was different. In order to help with your decision, links have been provided to each of our finalists stories. May the best story win!
Juroku http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post?id=61159742&path=1
Hylebos http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post?id=61153923&path=1
Sagexsage http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post?id=61153217&path=1
Birdman http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post?id=61133945&path=1
Mariachi http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post?id=61151610&path=1
WestCoastRonin http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post?id=61159834&path=1
SpartanPatriarch http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post?id=61127854&path=1
[DeeJ Edit]: UPDATE... Spartan Patriarch has won! I think we all know who is the daddy around here. Patriarchy joke. Anyone? Okay. I will have the print signed. SP, I will be in touch to solicit your information, so that you may receive your prize.
All of the submissions were awesome. Each had me wishing you could play this game right now, but that will have to wait. Until then, I like the way you dream.
Keep it up.
English
#Destiny
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Hylebos entered past the deadline ban him.
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Is the contest over? i dont think anyone has voted in awhile
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Shame my story isn't up there :/ oh well I guess my writing skills need help I guess
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Juroku's story, in my opinion, was the best story out of the bunch. I mean it made me have feels for god sake!
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I have compiled some of the stories from the contest in this document. Someone said that we need lore, books, things we can reference in our stories, So i made a book of these stories. Feel free to reference this if you want, without further ado https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PQIlaa3TABV9QyfR5T2uxm_YEjnOLhIUES3f3bPqDOc/edit# (note: if your story is not in here dont panic, go to the end of the story for instruction on how to be in the book)
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Wow, hard to pick. All amazing.
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I'm not asking that anyone change their opinion or vote but I would like to post a rebuffed version of my story so as to get feedback before I begin to polish chapter 2. Comments or ideas? http://www.bungie.net/7_Untitled-A-Destiny-Fanfiction/en-us/Forum/Post?id=61152029&path=1
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These were literally the 7 last people to enter.
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You should switch around the order of the stories so that it is randomized and that people dont just vote for the first one they read.
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All of these were pretty good. I can see why they made it to the finals here. I voted for story #2, WestCoastRonin's story, just because of its dynamic use of dialogue and combat to drive the story forward. For a 300 word vignette, it's marvelous. I liked story #1 for the discourse between the Ghost and the Guardian. It was just a little short on content for me. As a teaser for a larger story, however, it's fantastic. Story #3 was cool and original. It developed backstory quickly and really highlighted the clever, sneaky, stealthy nature of the Hunter. I just had too many questions left unanswered in my brain after I read it. #4 was the second best story in my opinion. I enjoyed the humor juxtaposing the tension of combat. The writer used some excellent creativity with having the Titan use his Fists of Havoc to smash through the ground and escape. The story just didn't reach out and pull me into the Guardian's plight the way the story #2 did. #5 made awesome use of the first person. Its use of ethos got me really invested in the story's character. I just needed some action to go with this inner monologue. No doubt the writer has a great ability though. Story #6 was really good. I think this one showed the best writing out of all of the entries. My only hangup was the way the secondary character was presented. He was a little too weak and didn't encompass the whole "be brave" mantra Bungie has been using to build the hype around Destiny. Story #7 really took a chance and went outside the box. I thought the author did a great job, and that thematic repetition was pretty cool. It was just a little too different from the rest in my opinion and I couldn't decide how to compare it to other stories. Again, all these stories were awesome and I can see why they were in the finals. Good job, guys!
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Wow SpartanPatriarch did a good job! But I had to vote Hylebos since he's mythix and all...
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Edited by Ethsentray: 7/19/2013 11:05:16 AMWow, my story didn't even get a Reply. :(
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I did enjoy these stories, but they are supposed to be anecdotes or as you generalized short stories, most of these are simply descriptions of a setting or a cliffhanger. Most of these are not true short stories, they are more like an introduction, it is like me telling an experience I had like this; One day, my friends and I were at the beach, the sand was incredible, the water looked glorious, the sky was clear, and then we did some stuff. Describing the entire setting and then adding one line of action is not a real story.
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I voted for Juroku's story, as it was interesting, and very unique. I like things to be unique. Great job Juroku, keep it up!! And everyone else as well, great job and good luck!!
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Congratulations to all of the finalists! All really good reads, and a special nod to Juroku for inventive use of the format. Mariachi got my vote, though - I love the mood and tone here. If nothing else, the Traveler has protected some fine writers.
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This contest was rigged. I should be up there! RIGGED CONTEST IS RIGGED!
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They are all great story's. I loved Birdman's the most though. I just think that most people wont have the patience to read all of them and will vote for one of the first few....
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I voted for Hylebos, not saying that I'm hating on the other stories because of that but to me-> The interaction with the environment of the assigned location was pleasing. Furthermore the interaction between the two characters....especially the hacking part....was very entertaining. Plus the choice for the particular enemy to be in that specific location would make for an interesting fight in regards to the layout of the place. This story in particular had me the most curious about the situation that would follow.
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Damnit, I literally just finished my short story.
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I voted for who I thought gave the most interesting story, that is all
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this poll is biased, many people will just read the first one and not the rest. i think these talented writers should be judged by the Black Garden itself
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Edited by PR0per6RAMmar: 7/18/2013 12:16:25 AMAbsolutely SP! Working the ghost for dialogue was cool! A little sad my story didn't get picked, but there are winners and losers. It was 301 words, including the title, Departure. I wonder if that was what sent me over the limit? Ah well, congrats and may the best man win!
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all of these are great. I really got some work cut out for me if I want to get into the finals on the next contest. kudos to the Black Garden for hosting a fun contest and for having a respectful community in which writers can experiment and grow.
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Pretty tough choice to make here. They all have created excellent stories. I guess the only I can do is pick the one that reminds me of what I want my guardian to be like and so I choose SpartanPatriarch's story. It had a good amount of detail regarding the environment that surrounded the guardian. This person gave the characters personalities and at the same time created a mysterious plot. Well done SpartanPatriarch!
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I read through a couple of the stories. They deserve to be up here more than mine does. Best of luck to all of them!
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These were all brilliant. Personally I voted for Mariachis' piece. I love the style of the backtracking to childhood and the use of fear- it really appealed to me as I believe we have similar writing styles. Props to everyone who entered and especially to the finalists, I just wish I had taken notice if this before the deadline- I would've loved to have had a shot. Until next time ;)