The things I liked Your structure was solid. Good paragraphs. You have a vision which is good. Ive read chapters one and nine and will read the rest if you send me the links. You have an instinct for settings. Breath more life into them! I want to know more about the long corridores filled with light, or your fathers legacy. Description is your canvas. Dont rush it Alas for us writers, that editing is the brunt or our workload. Happy to help if you send me material. Keep it up!