Cayde-6, the legendary hunter of the Vanguard stood dubiously in the Vanguard hall. He stood alone, the only company being his ghost, looking at various maps of scouted planetary areas and hummed in deep concentration.
He sighed.
"I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing," Cayde spoke plainly. "But looking at maps is the easiest thing I can do to look busy. Zavala hates when I play Solitaire.." He crossed his arms. "Anything interesting going on, Ghost? Where's Ikora and the big blue monster?"
"Zavala's taking ship inventory with Amanda, I believe. And Ikora is studying with Eris." His ghost spoke back.
"Boooooorinnnnnng." Cayde droned. "What's the point in being a Vanguard leader if you can't [i]lead[/i]? You know? We're supposed to be [i]out[/i] there! Looting! Shooting! And anything else that ends in 'ing'.." Cayde paused. "There's a joke in there somewhere." He shrugged.
"Mr. Cayde?" A small, feminine voice spoke out.
Cayde, confused, tried to look around to see who was speaking to him. He looked to his left to see a black-shelled ghost with a pink bow on the upper right of it's shell.
"The one and only. What do you need, ghost? Lost your guardian?"
"Kinda.." She started. "My name is Becky. Ghost of the guardian known as BraveCole."
"BraveCole? [i]The[/i] BraveCole? As in the Kinderguardian teacher?" Cayde asked.
"That's him." Becky nodded.
"If he wants me to substitute again, tell him no deal. Those kids are something else, I'm still recovering from last time. I mean, the little titan wouldn't stop crying, RJ wouldn't stop asking me questions and Vectis wouldn't stop killing himself." Cayde explained.
"Ventis, you mean, and yes. They're a handful. But it's not that. It-" Before Becky could even finish, she started to vibrate and emit the Skype call ringtone.
Cayde and his ghost looked at her in silence as she continued to ring.
"Sorry. Brave is trying to reach you. Tap my eye to answer him." Becky stated, the ringtone still blaring.
"Okay.." Cayde mumbled, giving a small tap to Becky's eye. It then emitted a small blue hologram of BraveCole himself.
"Sup, 6." BraveCole greeted. "What are you doing?"
Cayde looked around as he patted his hands on the table. "Uh.. You know, Cayde stuff. What do you need?"
"I need your help. I'm on Venus and I could use a hand. Specifically from a hunter."
"Brave, you know I can't leave. And I'm pretty sure being on Venus on your own agenda violates your probation. Not that I care, though." Cayde shrugged.
BraveCole laughed. "I know you can't leave. That's why I sent Becky. She's gonna substitute for you."
"Uh.. Your ghost is gonna substitute for me? Explain that please? I think they'd notice if a ghost was floating in my spot replacing the Hunter Vanguard."
Brave smirked. "It's like all things. You'll still be in plain sight. Enter frequency 5983, Becky."
"Right away, darling." And with that, Becky materialized, taking form and turning into an exact copy of Cayde-6 himself.
Cayde's jaw dropped. "Woah, woah. Your ghost can do that? Can you do that?" Cayde said, referring to his own ghost.
"I've never tried but.." It trailed off.
"BraveCole installed a Dopplegänger-XLR2 drive into my chassis. If I've seen it, I can become it." Becky explained, although her voice was now that of Cayde's. "But the only downside is..." Becky then took her hand and touched the table, where it phased through it completely.
"You're not actually physical." Cayde deduced. "I get it. Interesting tech for sure. I'll have to check into that myself. Anyway, Brave. I'm listening. But Zavala's taking inventory in the ship hangar and there's no way I can get a ship outta here without him knowing."
"My ship's waiting for you outside." BraveCole said. Cayde turned and looked out of the Vanguard hall window, and lo and behold, a ship floated there, waiting for takeoff.
Cayde smiled. [i]"Oh hell yeah."[/i]
"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." BraveCole's hologram said, talking to Cayde.
"Uh.. What?"
"I was trying to make a joke." BraveCole sighed.
"Oh. Erm. Haaaaaaaa.." Cayde said, sarcastically before instantly getting a more serious tone. "[i]Be there in an hour."[/i] Cayde said, transmatting into Brave's ship.
Becky, still posing as Cayde-6, looked at the other ghost.
"Soooooo..." She trailed off. "How do you feel about puns?"
Cayde's ghost fell silent for a second.
[b][i]"I -blam!-ing love puns."[/i][/b]
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Cayde had arrived on the jungle planet on Venus, following Brave's coordinates. After he had gotten to them, he transmitted out of the borrowed ship and onto the surface.
"Inside of that thing smelled like peanut butter." He mumbled. "BraveCole? You here?"
"Yeah, I'm here.." Brave said, coming out from the brush. "6. You're a hunter. Hunters hunt."
Cayde clicked. "Bingo."
"And I need help hunting this thing.. Huge son of a bitch. I couldn't do it alone."
"Sounds dangerous. But I'm not complaining. Honestly would've left if it wasn't. Who's the target? Fallen? Vex?"
"No.." BraveCole started. "It's worse. It's a native venusian creature that's the stuff of nightmares. It hangs out in the oceans.." BraveCole rubbed his hands together.
[b][i]"We're hunting the legendary Ogre Serpent."[/i][/b]
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self-insert? *cringe intensifies*