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Edited by BraveCole:
3/12/2017 7:38:19 PM
54
Collapse. (Teaser.)
She's gone. They're gone. Gone, gone, gone.
How long has it been? Since I saw my wife die.. Since I gave up my place to give my daughter another chance at life? At hope?
I sat in the abandoned grocery store, lazily eating from my jar of peanut butter. It was dark and ominous, a light flickered on and off from the ceiling. There were a bunch of commodities sprawled all across the floor, knocked off from their shelves. I could recall a time where an employee would've had this place spotless..
But that time was long gone.
Gone, gone, gone.
I finished my jar of "food" throwing it onto the floor and getting up with a bit of effort. I fastened my back pack and slung my rifle off of my shoulder, into my hands. I gripped it, by now it was second nature. This tool was the closest thing to a friend out here.
It'd been seventeen years since humanity fell. Something hit us. Something horrible, something.. [i]angry.[/i] Took us by surprise. It's actually funny, really, the best years of mankind wiped away in an instant and basically reverted back to the stone ages. Classic.
To this day, I'm still not exactly sure what the hell happened. First glance, I was convinced it was a storm of some sort. But a second glance spat logic at me, and told me no storm was capable of bringing humanity to it's knees. Earth, Mars, Venus.. Ghost towns, now. Shame, really wanted to visit Venus too.
I exited the old grocery store and began my walk toward what I felt would bring me answers. Salvation..
"Traveler.." I muttered. I had begun this walk many years ago. And I was so close to reaching it.
My footsteps echoed throughout the forgotten city of Moscow, and occasionally I'd step in a puddle. For some odd reason, the sound of splashing water caused by my boots was satisfying. Shut up. I'm weird. Moving on.
I looked up at the buildings that had been covered in moss and vegetation. Mother Nature was a petty bitch, and decided to take back what was hers. Who could blame her, though. Certainly wasn't ours anymore.
My train of thought was broken, by a blood curdling scream.
"AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!"
I instantly looked around and called back. "Hey! Where are you!?" I said, my breathing getting heavy and erratic.
"HELP! H-HELP ME, STOP, PLEASE NO! NOT IN FRONT OF MY SON, PLEASE NO!" The woman cried, her accent of Russian decent.
Wasting no time, I started running. I used my hearing to try and locate the woman in need. I shouted advice. "Scream! Scream as loud as you can, I'm coming! Help me find you! I'm coming!" I yelled.
"HELP!! I'M HERE! PLEASE HELP, PLEASE! HE'S TRYING TO.. PLEASE HURRY!" She shouted back, in between grunts and screams.
I ran faster and faster, adrenaline pumping through my body like a spigot. I eventually ran into an alleyway, where I saw a young boy on the back of an older man, who was ripping off the clothes of the screaming woman. The man stopped for a moment, to take the young boy and swing him off his back, where he hit the floor. The woman screamed again.
"NO, STOP! MY SON! DON'T HURT HIM! PLEASE, JUST LET US GO! I'M BEGGING YOU!"
"I'll let you go after I'm done with you, you fiesty bitch..! Now, stop moving and just let this happen!"
"Hey, asshole," I called out, raising my M4A1. "Get off the girl. Right now. Hands up too, while you're at it. No sudden movements either, I swear to god, I'll kill you right now if you look at me wrong. Get up!" The man paused, slowly raising up as the woman he was assaulting fixed her ragged clothing. He turned to me as he put his hands up. I kept walking toward him, until the barrel of my gun was pushing into his chest. I backed him into the brick wall. "You're scum. I'm literally fighting back every instict to not -blam!-ing waste your sorry ass. She had her kid right there, how could you do that to a family!?" My voice amping up in anger.
"Do that to a family.." He started. "I do everything for a family. Mine in particular. And I'm sure you have done the same. Please.. Forgive me for what's about to happen."
Before I could even question what he meant, I heard footsteps behind me and the cold steel of a knife puncture itself into my back. I screamed in pain, dropping my gun and falling to the floor, writhing in pain.
"Good job, honey," the man said, as he squatted down and began removing my backpack, as well as my clothing. The woman who had stabbed me started doing the same. She paused for a miniute, and snapped her fingers. "Dmitri! Hurry, hurry! Help papa loot the body! Remember when I taught you how to do that?"
"Yes, mama.." The boy said timidly. "You pat down.. And check every pocket.. And if he's wearing something warm, then you take that too." He spoke, walking over. My eyes were open, and I could still hear, but I couldn't move any part of my body and I stared off into space, in a puddle of my own blood. I felt their hands search and pull things off of me, my ammo, my backpack, my clothes.. I had lost everything. It was gone.
Gone, gone, gone.
"Papa.. Is.. Is the man dead?" The boy spoke.
"I'm not sure but that doesn't really matter right now, Dmitri. Now, come. You can wear and carry his coat. Your mother and I will carry everything else." The man spoke back. The woman removed the knife from my back and propped my body up against the wall. My eyes were still open, and I felt her fingertips take and close my eyelids.
"We need to come up with another stage. He... He could've shot you. Then what would we have done?" The woman said, referring to the man.
"You're right, dear. But now's not the time to be thinking on what happened, we got what we needed. Come, let's head back home to the village."
I heard the footsteps walk out of the alleyway. And I was left here to die.
Son of a bitch.
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2 RepliesThis is so gay
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10/10 story, as usual Cole 😉🖒
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1 ReplyPay attention in class!
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finish this plz
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post a movie based on this very foundation. like roleplay or somethin.. this is why i sent yoi a friend request. to help you with something like that
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8 RepliesEdited by Onyx Guard: 3/13/2017 3:50:54 PMI remember dad telling us how he survived 5 or so weeks on a few m&ms and a little packet of peanut butter in desert storm. As for the story, I have actual criticism to offer. While this kind of sceen is usually a safe bet for an emotionally gripping survival type environment, it doesn't fit into destiny's world. Black market dealings, shady tactics to take advantage of emotional manipulation, gangs and scavengers taking advantage of the strong and brave with the allure of the weak and helpless... these are the types of things you'd see in an infestation or contagion outbreak story, not an invasion story. These things belong in a world ravaged by social, government, or economic breakdown, not a collapse. The enemy is too focused and organized for these to be possible without detailed explanation, as opposed to an enemy that is dangerous but predictable and unorganized in which these situations could thrive. The situation in destiny would require people to stick together. Groups would then do all they could to set up and maintain supply lines against an organized and powerful enemy. Large cites with military centers would become key bases of operations while smaller civilian settlements would function as checkpoints or independent crop or industrial centers depending on the pre-invasion advantages they had and their continued loyalty to the remaining government and military. This is why piracy is uncommon in these stories unless taking from the enemy or long abandoned military outposts. For a detailed example from your story, the opening is possible. A single person or small team searching for supplies and food in a way that wouldn't attract attention. This would be a fundamental principle to survival after the collapse. However, the group yelling and screaming would be drawing far more than the attention of human scavengers. We don't know what initially invaded Earth, but we know that it was everywhere to an extent that it managed to drive humanity back to a single city. This kind of force would be systematically surveying every inch of space it possibly could with such detail that coordinated movement would be the only possible way to cover ground. This goes double for an empty city in which sound would have nothing to drown it out. So a display like the one in your story would be met by some form of monster long before another person could hope to enter the situation. If anything, hearing panicked screams like that would be a person's best hope of leaving the area undetected, else they risk being found by the enemies drawn in by the disturbance.
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Where's stormballer part dos?
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2 RepliesAh, the ol' use-your-own-family-as-bait ruse, those assholes.
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3 RepliesHey bravecole can I use you in a story it would use you more then the kinderderguardians, if you want more details on the story let me know
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Edited by rmc29: 3/14/2017 7:42:18 PMSequel please. Reminds me of the movie " The Road" the one with Vigo Mortensen. Pictures an end time scenario were people in order to survive went to cannibalism .
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Edited by flyngfox06: 3/14/2017 4:13:33 PMDo a sequel, I enjoyed reading Also, as irony can you make him a hunter XD
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That was epic! Survival of the fittest!
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Good stories as always, hopefully that guy ends curb stomping all of their asses 👌
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1 Replyblam!ing bi#ch she stabbed u in the back why i outta snipe er in the face and get a triple down with the rest of em, [spoiler][/spoiler] i liked the story
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1 Reply17 year old peanut butter? No thanks
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Entertaining as always. I stopped playing Destiny after the latest Patch, but I'm still visiting the forum because of your storys. I hope Bungie already knocked on your door.
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It's [b]Bucket O Nothing![/b] Surprise your friends! Amaze your family!! Annoy perfect strangers!!! [i]...it's absolutely nothing...![/i] Free! For only... 99! [b]99!![/b] [b][i]99!!![/i][/b] [spoiler][url=https://youtu.be/GU2OvtIbSXw]Here[/url] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [/spoiler]
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Slagathor approves
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2 RepliesPretty good.
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[quote]And I was left here to die. Son of a bitch.[/quote] [i]Damn[/i], that's metal.
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3 RepliesSave this bullshít for fanfiction.net/game/Destiny
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[quote]She's gone. They're gone. Gone, gone, gone. How long has it been? Since I saw my wife die.. Since I gave up my place to give my daughter another chance at life? At hope? I sat in the abandoned grocery store, lazily eating from my jar of peanut butter. It was dark and ominous, a light flickered on and off from the ceiling. There were a bunch of commodities sprawled all across the floor, knocked off from their shelves. I could recall a time where an employee would've had this place spotless.. But that time was long gone. Gone, gone, gone. I finished my jar of "food" throwing it onto the floor and getting up with a bit of effort. I fastened my back pack and slung my rifle off of my shoulder, into my hands. I gripped it, by now it was second nature. This tool was the closest thing to a friend out here. It'd been seventeen years since humanity fell. Something hit us. Something horrible, something.. [i]angry.[/i] Took us by surprise. It's actually funny, really, the best years of mankind wiped away in an instant and basically reverted back to the stone ages. Classic. To this day, I'm still not exactly sure what the hell happened. First glance, I was convinced it was a storm of some sort. But a second glance spat logic at me, and told me no storm was capable of bringing humanity to it's knees. Earth, Mars, Venus.. Ghost towns, now. Shame, really wanted to visit Venus too. I exited the old grocery store and began my walk toward what I felt would bring me answers. Salvation.. "Traveler.." I muttered. I had begun this walk many years ago. And I was so close to reaching it. My footsteps echoed throughout the forgotten city of Moscow, and occasionally I'd step in a puddle. For some odd reason, the sound of splashing water caused by my boots was satisfying. Shut up. I'm weird. Moving on. I looked up at the buildings that had been covered in moss and vegetation. Mother Nature was a petty bitch, and decided to take back what was hers. Who could blame her, though. Certainly wasn't ours anymore. My train of thought was broken, by a blood curdling scream. "AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!" I instantly looked around and called back. "Hey! Where are you!?" I said, my breathing getting heavy and erratic. "HELP! H-HELP ME, STOP, PLEASE NO! NOT IN FRONT OF MY SON, PLEASE NO!" The woman cried, her accent of Russian decent. Wasting no time, I started running. I used my hearing to try and locate the woman in need. I shouted advice. "Scream! Scream as loud as you can, I'm coming! Help me find you! I'm coming!" I yelled. "HELP!! I'M HERE! PLEASE HELP, PLEASE! HE'S TRYING TO.. PLEASE HURRY!" She shouted back, in between grunts and screams. I ran faster and faster, adrenaline pumping through my body like a spigot. I eventually ran into an alleyway, where I saw a young boy on the back of an older man, who was ripping off the clothes of the screaming woman. The man stopped for a moment, to take the young boy and swing him off his back, where he hit the floor. The woman screamed again. "NO, STOP! MY SON! DON'T HURT HIM! PLEASE, JUST LET US GO! I'M BEGGING YOU!" "I'll let you go after I'm done with you, you fiesty bitch..! Now, stop moving and just let this happen!" "Hey, asshole," I called out, raising my M4A1. "Get off the girl. Right now. Hands up too, while you're at it. No sudden movements either, I swear to god, I'll kill you right now if you look at me wrong. Get up!" The man paused, slowly raising up as the woman he was assaulting fixed her ragged clothing. He turned to me as he put his hands up. I kept walking toward him, until the barrel of my gun was pushing into his chest. I backed him into the brick wall. "You're scum. I'm literally fighting back every instict to not -blam!-ing waste your sorry ass. She had her kid right there, how could you do that to a family!?" My voice amping up in anger. "Do that to a family.." He started. "I do everything for a family. Mine in particular. And I'm sure you have done the same. Please.. Forgive me for what's about to happen." Before I could even question what he meant, I heard footsteps behind me and the cold steel of a knife puncture itself into my back. I screamed in pain, dropping my gun and falling to the floor, writhing in pain. "Good job, honey," the man said, as he squatted down and began removing my backpack, as well as my clothing. The woman who had stabbed me started doing the same. She paused for a miniute, and snapped her fingers. "Dmitri! Hurry, hurry! Help papa loot the body! Remember when I taught you how to do that?" "Yes, mama.." The boy said timidly. "You pat down.. And check every pocket.. And if he's wearing something warm, then you take that too." He spoke, walking over. My eyes were open, and I could still hear, but I couldn't move any part of my body and I stared off into space, in a puddle of my own blood. I felt their hands search and pull things off of me, my ammo, my backpack, my clothes.. I had lost everything. It was gone. Gone, gone, gone. "Papa.. Is.. Is the man dead?" The boy spoke. "I'm not sure but that doesn't really matter right now, Dmitri. Now, come. You can wear and carry his coat. Your mother and I will carry everything else." The man spoke back. The woman removed the knife from my back and propped my body up against the wall. My eyes were still open, and I felt her fingertips take and close my eyelids. "We need to come up with another stage. He... He could've shot you. Then what would we have done?" The woman said, referring to the man. "You're right, dear. But now's not the time to be thinking on what happened, we got what we needed. Come, let's head back home to the village." I heard the footsteps walk out of the alleyway. And I was left here to die. Son of a bitch.[/quote] Same
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Do I miss stories with very dark meanings.
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teasing people is bullying take it back right now
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Nice work here. Are we talking GUARDIAN ORIGIN story here? You should be writing the Destiny Prequel mate.
