So, it's a Friday night much like this one and you decide to go to the local bar with a few buddies. You play some pool, have a good time, and drink some Mtn Dew.
On your way home, a pain slowly builds up in your stomach and you realize you have to shit. Really really bad.
Your going down a dirt road up a steep hill when the car in front of you crashes head on in to another car. You drive up, the crash seems really bad. Then your stomach starts hurting and you have to shit REALLY REALLY BAD and your only like 2 minutes away from your house.
What do you do?
Test results will be replied to you. Please make your response creative.
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Call 911 as I roll up to the scene at a reasonably fast speed. If they're still conscious and the car isn't on fire, speed going home, take a shit, get high and watch Archer. If they are unconscious, help them, shit THEIR pants, clean up with a piece of their clothing, throw it in the woods and wait for aid to arrive. Simple.