You're bitching. You're moaning. You're kicking your stupid legs (unless you don't have any, and you're paralyzed) and you're saying:
[b]Lets boycott Iron Banner.[/b]
But let's face it. You're going to play it. You can't help yourself. You're gonna go do exactly what you've been crying about this last 36 hours as soon as they dropped the update: Login, zone in, [b][u]RIFT.[/u][/b]
And do you want to know why? Because you're a stupid butthole. You want that 320 ghost. Or mark. Or the new IB scout. Maybe you just like shooting people in the face.. But
You're going to play. Just like last time.
And the last time.
And the last time.
You're going to fight through the red bars, the yellow bars, the asses that make [b]you[/b] red bar and yellow bar, and you're going to fight, guardian. You're going to fight because you can't help yourself. You are going to fight because you hope.
You hope [b]this[/b] game won't be full of retards and doorknob humping monkeys. [b]This game[/b] won't be the same as last game. It'll be different [b]this[/b] time. That rank 5 package will have what I need!!
You hope.
And hope.
And you hope.
But you'll be there. See you in rift, guardian!
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Edit 1: Trending! +200 with barely any salt!
Edit 2: apparently there are more than a few salty nerds that think this applies directly to them. So if the shoe fits...I guess?
Edit 3: I'm aware i don't have the stats to back up an MLG gamers crap talking. Won't stop me from blowing your face off with mah Tlaloc.
Edit 4: This was definitely made to incite feelings on both sides. But bring your salt. My choo choo runs on sodium levels and enemy tears!
Edit 5: Always make sure you have your Omaha Potatoe plugged into your router. Also, quick poll: Send everyone on the enemy team a "get REKT" message. Yea or Nay??
Edit 6: 300+ "choo choo!"
Edit 7: 400! Also refer to this handy guide for this weeks Iron Banner: [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/183412100/0/0] Iron Banner tips!![/url] I realize I am [b][u]not[/u][/b] Ponethepoon, all props to him for that post. Still funny.
Edit 8: 500 posts strong, and the delusion is still REAL!! Get that spark, guardians!
Edit 9: 600 and we've been visited by Nike! Spent a few matches in Rift today just to get a feel for it. Everyone in the lobby had more than 20 kills and it was a slobber-knocker. THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!
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The thing that surprises me most about the Rift call, is how little it was thought out by Bungie. They haven't released anything of substance in months. The Forums have never been this riled up or angry, and that's saying something. The weapon balance was good, but not quite good enough. Sniping has gotten out of control. Nightfall has become stale and the rewards no longer worth working towards. PvP lag is at an all time high with some truly strange things happening in matches. And Bungie ran silent and ran deep for the Holidays for a month now. So you would think they would offer us the promise of more than just flower petals, and then to add insult to injury they decided to change this months IB to Rift. I'm still going to play, I still need stuff that I sadly can't get any other way right now. And I still very much love this game. I'm just starting to realize though that I love what this game could be, a whole lot more.