You're bitching. You're moaning. You're kicking your stupid legs (unless you don't have any, and you're paralyzed) and you're saying:
[b]Lets boycott Iron Banner.[/b]
But let's face it. You're going to play it. You can't help yourself. You're gonna go do exactly what you've been crying about this last 36 hours as soon as they dropped the update: Login, zone in, [b][u]RIFT.[/u][/b]
And do you want to know why? Because you're a stupid butthole. You want that 320 ghost. Or mark. Or the new IB scout. Maybe you just like shooting people in the face.. But
You're going to play. Just like last time.
And the last time.
And the last time.
You're going to fight through the red bars, the yellow bars, the asses that make [b]you[/b] red bar and yellow bar, and you're going to fight, guardian. You're going to fight because you can't help yourself. You are going to fight because you hope.
You hope [b]this[/b] game won't be full of retards and doorknob humping monkeys. [b]This game[/b] won't be the same as last game. It'll be different [b]this[/b] time. That rank 5 package will have what I need!!
You hope.
And hope.
And you hope.
But you'll be there. See you in rift, guardian!
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Edit 1: Trending! +200 with barely any salt!
Edit 2: apparently there are more than a few salty nerds that think this applies directly to them. So if the shoe fits...I guess?
Edit 3: I'm aware i don't have the stats to back up an MLG gamers crap talking. Won't stop me from blowing your face off with mah Tlaloc.
Edit 4: This was definitely made to incite feelings on both sides. But bring your salt. My choo choo runs on sodium levels and enemy tears!
Edit 5: Always make sure you have your Omaha Potatoe plugged into your router. Also, quick poll: Send everyone on the enemy team a "get REKT" message. Yea or Nay??
Edit 6: 300+ "choo choo!"
Edit 7: 400! Also refer to this handy guide for this weeks Iron Banner: [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/183412100/0/0] Iron Banner tips!![/url] I realize I am [b][u]not[/u][/b] Ponethepoon, all props to him for that post. Still funny.
Edit 8: 500 posts strong, and the delusion is still REAL!! Get that spark, guardians!
Edit 9: 600 and we've been visited by Nike! Spent a few matches in Rift today just to get a feel for it. Everyone in the lobby had more than 20 kills and it was a slobber-knocker. THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!
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I want both the scout rifle and fusion rifle but, nope, I'm not playing rift.