Today, I went to the bathroom on my office building's floor, and proceeded to push open a stall door. Turns out, the lady taking a shit there had forgotten to lock the door. We both just kind of froze, terrified and shocked, and made eye contact for a split second. I nope'd the -blam!- out of there and went to the floor below's bathroom. Oh god, why?
What do you guys got?
Edit:Removed the Solaris tag. I didn't think it would cause so much drama.
Edit #2: People are still commenting on this?
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Edited by Superpug: 3/10/2016 6:46:57 AMI like to be aware of my surrounds and often scan rooms and people when in crowded spaces (such as school or restaurants). Because of this I always get into awkward eye contact moments because someone will turn around or walk in front of where I'm scanning and since the human eye is attracted to facial features, boom, eye contact. I usually look away, but then it's like I was looking at them, then turned to not get caught. Recently I've been maintaining eye contact to establish dominance. May have made it worse.
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Same here - in a hotel public bathroom... Was sure the dude I walked in on was going to wait for me to kick my ass...
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Mexican restaurant. Waiter comes up and asks what we want. Normal until my little brother gets cheeseburger. They come with the food. We get our food. Little brother's turn. Man says "CHEESEBURRRRGER!" We couldn't contain our laughter. Man walked away, nearly crying. The End.
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Edited by OYASUMI: 4/1/2016 11:16:40 AMA man came up to me in a van and told me that he was my real dad and my real mom was in the hospital so I went in then he fed me lsd and cut off my toes and made me eat like 3. I'm on the moon right now guys and my real mom got her cancer cured by eating the rest of my toes. lol
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Don't have any I don't go out
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I had the pleasure of telling an Army Ranger that his fly was down on his ACUs.
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Edited by Some Black Guy: 1/13/2016 11:08:15 PMNot awkward, just crazy. Got a handjob and fingered this chick, while my entire class was watching, laughing and secretly cheering me on. Our teacher was out of the room. We were sitting on a desk against the wall, our backs to the regular classroom seats. I looked back and everyone was on their tippy toes, trying to get a good angle. Felt like a black Ron Jeremy for a moment. I was a TA for this freshmen teacher, big booty Ms. Luna. I still remember that blonde chick Natalie to this day. Pussy was kung fuu tight bruh. Man, good ol' high school memories.
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Once at a music festival, a drunk dude pissed into my boot, i only noticed because it was suddenly super warm and damp. I turned around I saw it all... He looked at me, looked down... He said "oh, sorry" He didn't stop though, just carried on... I didnt know what to do... i just said "It's alright"
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Literally every time I get on bnet
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Oh man, I absolutely have to tell you guys about this. The week of graduation. Caps and gowns and pictures and all that shit. Damn.. I'm gonna hve to get back here later on to type this up.
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Edited by RESULTS : 2/2/2016 4:28:44 PMI can't tell when some ones talking to me or not. This leads to me having an entire conversation with a Chinese caryout guy by myself. He was on the phone.
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[quote]I went to the bathroom on my office building's floor[/quote][quote]on my office building's floor[/quote][quote]building's floor[/quote]
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* summons demon dog * Is asked a man if he like bananas. [spoiler]He took it the wrong way. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [/spoiler]
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Wasn't awkward for me but awkward for the stranger. I used to take a bus home. The bus ride was only 15 minutes to where I would just walk the other 5 minutes to my house. I'm sitting in my seat, headphones in, looking out the window, thinking about life. Suddenly I feel an odd sensation on the back of my head. I run my hand through my hair and I feel sticky mat. I immediately bring my fingers up to my nose to try and decipher what it is by it's smell. It smells minty. I suddenly realize somebody put gum in my hair. In a act of pure rage I spin around in my seat to look at the people behind me. It was 2 teenage girls, both smacking their lips to some mint gum. I said in a very angry tone "Did you seriously put gum in my hair?" Both of their faces turn to a bright red and they immediately start stumbling over their words trying to muster up some sort of response denying my claim. I looked one dead in the eyes and said "Do not try to lie to me, I can smell the gum. You both need to mature and grow up. I know five year olds with better manners." After that I just turned around and sat quietly without listening to my music anymore. They both were also silent for the duration of my ride. [quote]Wow, Ethan! Great memes! Keep it up! Proud of you![/quote]
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Edited by NervouspyZ: 2/4/2016 1:01:05 PMGot mugged when I was a teen. Had less money on me than the mugger. Found this out after I whooped his ass and took his money. Could have been really awkward if I handed over my wallet...
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Anytime so random person on the street tries to start a conversation. Like, I'm just trying to get from point A to point B please don't talk to me.
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Edited by Rayray43: 3/31/2016 10:00:47 AMTrying to find out why my visa gift card won't work over the phone and when it took like 5 minutes just to say some numbers due to a variety of problems I knew I got myself into a god damn mess
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Once when i was 5 yrs old, me and my twin brother were at a Chinese restaurant with our mom and her friend. They had this huge fish tank with all kinds of interesting fish inside. Me and my twin were laughing at the fish, when all of a sudden, this old lady comes up to me and my brother and yelling "SHUT UP! YOU SHUT UP!" Me and my brother start crying, but guess who's right next to us? [spoiler]our mom[/spoiler] [spoiler]dont mess with momma bear lol[/spoiler]
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*is wondering the wasteland crouched* [ hidden ] *Sees stranger* Maybe nice? [hidden] "..." [caution] "Oh shit" [dead]
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I accidentally opened the stall door on a guy at school, I couldn't help but lmao haha. He said something like "Sup, you mind handing me some paper mate? This one's messy..."
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I was going home from batman v superman and I was hungry. The theater is miles and miles away so in a town on the way back there is only a McDonald's to eat at, I try to not to go at any McDonald's but I hadn't eaten in a while. I go in and this guy is there: Cashier bitch: what do you want sir? Me: Yeah, I'll just get a cheeseburger Cashier bitch: Fine that will cost you (forgot how much) Me: *gives money* Cashier bitch: That will cost you an extra 69 dollars *laughs uncontrollably* *looks at other girl coworkers* Me: Wow you acted like that was your words. Mommy and daddy must be impressed. Cashier bitch: at least I have a job Me: and I'm your paycheck, i want my money back Cashier bitch: dude I was kidding! *hands me my money anyway* [spoiler]didnt even say have a nice day[/spoiler]
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I danced one year a blizzcon and the kid before me was dancing so hard that he got a compound fracture. The bone was sticking all out! When i when out; i froze lol It haunts my dreams.
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"Have a good day man I'll see you tomorrow" [i]yeah you too[/i] *both walk out to parking lot maybe 3 feet apart in total silence.
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Edited by --KNIGHT--: 3/28/2016 6:20:09 PMJust got given a thorntons Easter egg from next door, simply because their kids "don't eat them." SOUND
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"get in my van" [b]go away[/b] "come on it'll be fun" [b]*kicks shin and runs away and calls cops*[/b] [spoiler]jingle balls, jingle balls, hop into my van. oh what fun it is to have all your holes resized, oh![/spoiler]