Chuck Norris glared at the Fallen. They immediately packed up and left the Solar System. They are still running.
Chuck Norris approached the Hive. He picked up a Thrall by the leg and beat the rest of the Hive to death with it.
Chuck Norris belched in front of the Vex. The resulting shockwave sent a massive cascade failure through their systems, obliterating their species.
Chuck Norris walked up to the Cabal. He didn't raise a fist or fire a shot. He didn't have to. They immediately declared him their new Emperor. Now they're known as the Chuckabal.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Dreadnought. It's orbiting Uranus now. Oryx promised to give back everything he had Taken if Chuck didn't do that again.
Chuck Norris showed up at the Tower. Immediately, every Guardian was laid off because no one needs Guardians when you've got Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walked into Bungie to try to fix their stupid servers. Alas, there are some things that even Chuck Norris can't do.
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