I sexually Identify as an AC-130. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a C-130 Hercules is Impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install propellers, 40 mm cannons, AGM-176 Griffin missiles, and GBU-39 Small Diameter Bombs on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Spectre" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a planephobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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Attack helicopters are better.