This guy in our raid team (a random) was quiet for awhile then all of sudden...(squeaker voice) Mom! Did you get my energy drink? I don't want f***ing apple juice! [spoiler]I kicked him[/spoiler]

What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK EVERYTHING IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO THROUGH THEIR SKULL! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THE STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS CARED ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL KILL THEM ALL! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE HECK OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AND MURDER THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO THAT GU---wait, shit...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!? WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES!!! Edit: What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK EVERYTHING IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO THROUGH THEIR SKULL! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THE STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS CARED ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL KILL THEM ALL! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE HECK OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AND MURDER THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO THAT GU---wait, THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!? WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES!!! For keeping this alive

One time a clan made said: "Guys, I'm AFK and get some food." We: "Okay, what will you eat?" He responded: "Just some simple noodles with tomato sauce." We:"Nice, Bon appetite". We were playing strikes or something and after 10 - 15 min. I heard something in the chat party and wondered, I'm the only one hearing this!? I asked: "Guys, do you also here this? Oooh, yeeeah, mmmhh, ahhh, oh yeah benji, give it to me!" I thought I was maybe high :D but I wasn't the only who heard this :D after it was more or less some lustful moaning it resulted in "bang bang bang, fap fap fap, ooooh yeeeaah benji, clap clap clap, harder harder!" So he had sex with his girl and 5 guys listened and cheered for him:"Go benji, go! Give it her hard!!! Enjoy your noodles with tomato sauce!!" :D :D :D we laughed soooo much!!! :D he returned and said:"Hey, I'm back" We:"Nice dude! How was your meal!?" He:"Yeah, was good, simple food, but good." We:"Ahhh okay, nice :D" we made some fun afterwards with noodles and tomato sauce and he probably asked himself "WTF is wrong with them? Why noodles and tomato sauce are so funny?!" After some minutes he gets it and asked:"Dudes..., you heard everything, right?" We:"Jup, we did :D great job bro!" :D it was probably the most funny afk moment we had in Destiny and will stay in memory for a long time! :D nowadays noodles with tomato sauce became a running gag to us and the people who shared this moment will always think maybe about him when they eat noodles with tomato sauce :D yeah, so that's my story :) peace!

I game with my clan and one of them is my uncle I heard him fall down the stairs once and then all you heard was "I guess that's a guardian down" from my auntie had us all in pieces

me and 2 other friends were in a party, suddenly one of them tries to hold in a sneeze and ends up farting so loud he wakes up his dog. in the weakest voice ive ever heard im talk in, all i hear is "ive never had gas come out of my a$s that fast before" we died of laughter

Was on a mic with my best friend who lives a few states over. He said he had to go eat and left his mic there. Didn't hear anything for about 20 minutes then I started hearing moans and loud breathing. Apparently after dinner he and his wife decided to have sex on the sofa and I overheard the whole thing. Definitely awkward but I couldn't stop listening. When he got back on the mic later on I asked him wth that was and he then realized I had overheard the whole thing and began to laugh I've had a lot of chats on PlayStation but that had to be one of the more interesting one

My wife was breast feeding my daughter and said: "it's ok sweetie, boobies will make you feel better."

I remember this dude talking in an English accent for half the raid then he goes "-blam!- it I'm actually American I just pretend to be English sometimes." We all just laughed.

There was this one night when I was at my friend's house with two others. I was sitting down having a casual game and all of a sudden I'm being pelted with credit cards. Like, actual cancelled credit cards. My friend has paranoia and cancels his credit cards every two weeks to make sure nobody 'steals his money'. I forgot to mute it and here is me screaming "STOP THROWING CREDIT CARDS AT ME YOU DICK" Mind you, the stack consisted of 50, so there was a lot. I put the mic down on the lounge and started throwing them back, making ninja noises as I threw them around. As the fun died down, I get back to the game, and the only thing I hear is "Welcome back Sensei". EDIT 1: I cannot believe this thing is still alive (O_o) EDIT 2: Well guys, my friend hasn't got bad paranoia anymore. He saw a counselor and went to the bank to sort stuff out about those cards. He still has those cards though. Those goddamn cards...

Truth time guys. So I was raiding on kings fall with a female player (I am also a female player, so not too much hate XD). We were on the pre-war priest/totem stage. Now this girl couldn't get the part down to save her life. She began to swear up and down [i]really[/i] loudly. Thinking my mic was muted, I muttered under my breath, "well that's not very ladylike." The entire fireteam went dead silent, except for the other female (who was still swearing up and down about the boomers up top). Thank goodness she didn't hear me XD After she left because she was salty, the fireteam burst out laughing, and kept saying to everything, "that's not very ladylike." To everything. It's a running gag now with my friends XD

I'm a marine in the barracks, and I guess some people over heard me and my room mates talking about how annoying our NCOs can be.