1st, congrats on becoming a dad. I've only been a dad to four hamsters, a couple fish, a bearded dragon, and a pug, but it's close enough...right?
2nd, your honest question started a console war. Shows what a community we've got here. I almost wish Destiny was PS4 exclusive just to stop these ridiculous nerd fights (and I play on Xbox).
3rd, get the Xbox. You don't have to start your progress over (that right there should be reason enough), plus all the good reasons you named. The controller and UI are a bit odd at first but you get used to it and if you go back to the 360 it feels like such a step backwards. The performance gains with PS4 are there, but there's not a person on this planet who can tell between 1080p and 900p while playing the game. Maybe with a screenshot and analyzing every pixel. Idk, people grasp whatever they can to justify their purchase.
Side note, Xbox will be getting DirectX 12 soon. It won't effect Destiny, but it should be a considerable boost in performance (15-20%) in the future. The dev team for Project Cars on their forums has been very open about it and its pretty cool.
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Hey, thanks for the reply and congrats. I'm stoked