Front:
[quote]You're invited(with a bunch of balloons and shit.[/quote]
Back:
[quote]Where: Heaven
When: Upon death
Why: God loves you
Rsvp by confessing your sin to God and trusting in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ as the full payment for those sins. Since you have lied, disobeyed your parents, and stolen, God already knows that you are guilty. Just like murdering only one person make you a murderer, telling only one lie makes you a liar. Breaking the law down here is enough to require payment for the crime, but breaking God's law is even worse, and is worthy of the spiritual death penalty, Hell. Though you deserve to pay for what you have done, God wants to forgive you. He sent Jesus to die in your place, as your substitute so that He could find you innocent and forgive you. God created you and will hold you accountable, but you can choose to recieve his forgiveness. Turn down from your sin and recieve Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour.
Please don't go to hell; it's so unnecessary.[/quote]
Wtf am I supposed to do with this?
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God only gave out 5 of those tickets. Soon you'll be invited to tour his chocolate factory. Sadly many of you won't make it out alive. You'll meet many strange tiny men, do not -blam!- them. Taste the snozberry but don't bitch like a women about. The chocolate river is pure evil, fawkin shit stay away from the tv room. You could be judged as a bad nut. God might be rude at first but At the end of the tour one of you wins a special prize. I can't tell you how I got this info, just trust me.