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Edited by IAmRonk:
7/8/2015 6:49:06 PM
36
Some lady gave me a wierd card at the fireworks show
Front:
[quote]You're invited(with a bunch of balloons and shit.[/quote]
Back:
[quote]Where: Heaven
When: Upon death
Why: God loves you
Rsvp by confessing your sin to God and trusting in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ as the full payment for those sins. Since you have lied, disobeyed your parents, and stolen, God already knows that you are guilty. Just like murdering only one person make you a murderer, telling only one lie makes you a liar. Breaking the law down here is enough to require payment for the crime, but breaking God's law is even worse, and is worthy of the spiritual death penalty, Hell. Though you deserve to pay for what you have done, God wants to forgive you. He sent Jesus to die in your place, as your substitute so that He could find you innocent and forgive you. God created you and will hold you accountable, but you can choose to recieve his forgiveness. Turn down from your sin and recieve Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour.
Please don't go to hell; it's so unnecessary.[/quote]
Wtf am I supposed to do with this?
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1 ReplyWell, if jesus already died for my sins then i'm good to go and should live forever. I'll be okay though. Due to not believing in heaven, I don't believe in hell either. Think i'll stick with limbo and haunt random people for shits and giggles.
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3 RepliesGod only gave out 5 of those tickets. Soon you'll be invited to tour his chocolate factory. Sadly many of you won't make it out alive. You'll meet many strange tiny men, do not -blam!- them. Taste the snozberry but don't bitch like a women about. The chocolate river is pure evil, fawkin shit stay away from the tv room. You could be judged as a bad nut. God might be rude at first but At the end of the tour one of you wins a special prize. I can't tell you how I got this info, just trust me.
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1 ReplyWas she hot?
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3 RepliesFind the lady who gave it to you, smile widely, rip the card up in front of her, and eat it.
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Make it into a smoothie
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2 RepliesSacrifice it to the peace lord of this dimension: Chin Chin.
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I have a family friend that for Halloween they give out little comics about believing in God.
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1 Reply"Though you deserve to pay for what you have done, God wants to forgive you. He sent Jesus to die in your place, as your substitute so that He could find you innocent and forgive you." I've never understood why bribing a judge who just killed his son to get you off the hook is more ethical than wanking.
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She knows what you did man [spoiler]about your sister[/spoiler]
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Throw some black cats at her feet and watch her dance
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This started out as somethhing from animal crossing and turned into a christians ravings
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This started out as somethhing from animal crossing and turned into a christians ravings
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1 ReplyUse it in a ritual to summon Satan to sell your soul.
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1 ReplyShould've screamed "I AM A HEATHEN" and eaten the note as she watched.
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[quote]Please don't go to hell; it's so unnecessary.[/quote] Omg like no way right
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Eat it.
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1 ReplyJust burn it with a flame thrower and piss on the ashes and do an evil ritual on them to track her down VOODOO!!!
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1 ReplyI was at the drive through at culvers and some guy came up to the car window and gave me a comic book thing called [i]the godly affair[/i] or some crap and its about the bible and the roman gods or something. He was like [i]this st patricks day is going to be the last holiday you'll ever celebrate because the world us going to end [/i][spoiler]that was 2 st. Patricks days ago. I wonder what that guy is doing now...[/spoiler]
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The card was her v-card.
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Reduce, reuse, recycle.
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1 ReplyShove it down her throat
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Heaven and hell are pointless sense you can't die and you'll get used to the pain and suffering in the artic wonderland of hell.
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Microwave it
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1 ReplyLooks like you got a "get out of hell" free card.
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Throw it away
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Do whatever you choose. Listen to the message. Ignore it. Whatever. Not religious here but hey whatever floats your boat.
