I hope some anus eating hermit crabs get inside you and feast on your inner cavity, inevitably reaching your anus and eat you from the inside out. I hope you get abducted by demonic aliens an they swallow your soul through your eyes while you're restrained by hooks digging into your back. I hope you step in a puddle one day and instead of water it's blood evaporating acid and you just disintegrate into a pile of bloodless flesh, waiting for the rain to wash you into the sewers so you can dwell in the waste and filth of the foul sewage.
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Ok, any other improbable situations you want me to go through?