Hi there, and welcome to this thread. Continue reading to find out why [b]YOU[/b] might just be the worst thing to happen to this Community, or if you are considered Royally Blue.
Before entry, I'm just going to need to see your Membership Year badge in order to grant you access.
Whoa, hold the phone there, scrub! That's just a dirty Six Year badge you got there. You know what that means? You're bad and you should feel bad. No amount of Dragon threads would ever allow me to accept you for the monstrosity that you are. No sir!
Hi there, folks. Some of you fine people might know me here as Helveck. And I've come to deliver a message:
It's time to restore things to the finer days. It's time to bring back the Elitism of old. The days when we were free to walk on the lesser creatures here that called themselves "Members", "Heroic Members" and "Legendary Members" have returned. This new standard has been implemented and officiated by yours truly! And if you're a member with 6 Years or less on this site, and in this forum... Just know one thing:
You're trash.
That's right, you're a disappointment and an inferior specimen.
This forum was once ripe with incredible and superior individuals. Their words allowed this place to shine, and brought to life the truest form of beauty and majesty that my eyes had ever seen. And most importantly, we kept the lower beings in their place... Way down in the dirt where they belong.
So, in order to clearly divide the classes, I think it's appropriate to devise a set of rules for each population.
[b]New Age Mythics[/b] [i](Seven years or more)[/i]:
[b]1.[/b] Every forum entry must clearly state in some way, your superior nature to everyone around you.
[b]2.[/b]If a lesser being argues with you, remind them that they do not posses a Membership Badge above Seven Years and as such, all words in which they speak are simply mindless ramblings that no one cares about.
[b]3.[/b] It is your right as a New Age Mythic to tell the lesser people how pointless their threads are, and how they are nothing but a plague on his Community.
[b]4.[/b] Remind lesser people that in addition to their inferior intellectual capabilities, that they will also never be as beautiful as you are.
[b]5.[/b] If the lesser creatures do not flatter you and shower you with compliments, gifts, and gift baskets (usually a combination of crackers, wines and assorted cheeses) PM Moderators and Mentors immediately to rectify this situation. If that does not work, PM Achronos or DeeJ.
[b]6.[/b] If you make a thread a post, and one of the lesser kinda makes a reply directed at you, simply ignore them. Never quote them and never give them any attention. Doing this would deceive them into thinking they possess something relevant to share, when we all know this is simply not true.
[b]7.[/b] You know what? Just mute them. Mute all of them. Not a member with 7+ Years? Yup, muted.
[b]New Age Inferiors[/b] (Six years or less):
[b]1.[/b] Don't post.
[b]2.[/b] If you're dumb enough to break rule #1, immediately PM every member with a badge that is Seven Years or older and apologize for your insolence while also stating that you have learned the error of your ways.
[b]3.[/b] If you STILL feel compelled to post for whatever asinine reason, simply remember that you must always quote and agree with whatever a certain New Age Mythic might be saying. The comfort here is knowing that we are never wrong.
[b]4.[/b] Did you post something stupid? That's ok, we expect that from you! Simply PM Achronos asking him to permanently delete your account, and for an added measure of safety, to ban your IP address. Have a nice holiday!
[b]5.[/b] Whether on the bus, or at your computer desk... If you enter a thread and you see a New Age Mythic, remember to display your reverence by grovelling before us. Make sure that nose touches the ground! We don't want you half-assing this now!
[b]6.[/b] Know that you [i]are[/i] bad. And you're only getting six shitty rules for your six shitty years (If that).
Well, that's all for now folks! Hopefully with these new rules in place, we can all work together towards making this a better, and far superior area of this site. A place where we can once again bask in the glory of our own greatness.
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I can really get behind this. Just like how I get behind your wife.